he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
