So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
