It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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