Who wears a wallet chain?!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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