butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
