I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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