how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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