I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
