If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
