yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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