i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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