I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
