apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
