This house was built for laser tag.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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