I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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