I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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