Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
