you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
