ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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