Define "chronic" masturbator.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
