Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
