Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
