oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
