OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
