I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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