As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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