taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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