small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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