first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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