are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
