that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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