you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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