There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize