just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
