I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
