i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
