Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
