she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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