i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
