Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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