I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
