I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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