I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
