ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
