Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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