I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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