you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My vagina just recognized that song.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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