no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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