i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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