lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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