if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
