My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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