im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
